Murphy Was A Scouter
Everyone knows Murphy's Law. Well, it is a little known fact the Murphy was actually a Scout Leader, as the following demonstrate:
- Scout Leaders who fail to show up at Leader's planning meetings are automatically volunteered for the next least favoured instruction or activity.
- The last Scouter who quit will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong - at least until the next Scouter quits.
- No matter how long or hard you shop for a particular piece of camping gear, immediately after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
- Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of time, planning, material acquisition, skill testing and training, <Scouts/Cubs> will invariably do as they dang well please.
- The time spent on consuming a camp meal is in inverse proportion to the time spent preparing it.
- Any tent peg, when dropped, will fall immediately where the tent will be placed and directly underneath where you will place your sleeping bag.
- Interchangeable parts aren't.
- The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down, is directly proportional to the amount of mud in which you are standing.
- Leakproof seals - will.
- Never eat prunes when you're famished.
- Matches are always at the bottom of the rucsac when you need them.
- Matchboxes always open upside down, spilling the contents.
- The size of the fire is inversely proportional to the need, (for example - a glimmer for cooking and a roaring inferno for the campfire singing).
- The map you bring is the wrong one, someone has just used the correct one to light the fire.
- The number of tent pegs is always equal to the number of guy-ropes, less one.
- There is always a rock buried where you want to drive in the tent peg.
- The strength of the wind (and rain) is inversely proportional to the number of people putting up the tent.
- Meals are always eaten before the Leader has time to eat.
- The Leaders' sausages (hot-dogs) are always the ones that fall into the fire.
- Lights out, for Scouts, is defined as the time to start having fun.
- The weight of rucsacs increases with the distance travelled.
- Contents of a rucsac always increase in size when you try to repack them.
- Contents of the rucsac reverse position after packing, in proportion to their urgency of need (most needed items at the bottom).
- The carrier of the First Aid kit is always the furthest person away from the emergency.
- The size of cuts is always greater than the biggest Band-Aid available.